It’s gorgeous, and it matches my eyes (they’re my best feature, by which I mean “they’re my only good feature”).
It also fits me oddly, as if it were designed to be worn by a hanger instead of an actual human with shoulders. It addition, it is a little thinner than the paper you are holding. If you are reading this online, it is about as thick as the text on your screen.
It is a cool shirt. I am not cool. I am wearing a tie as I write this, and khaki pants. I don’t even have to wear a tie; I wear them because I think men should wear ties if they want to be taken seriously as a professional, or even as a reporter.
Besides, cool people need us squares. There has to be a contrast. Cool people couldn’t be cool if there were nothing to compare